It's Not Easy Being Green

As the saying goes by Kermit, “It’s not easy being green.” I feel like this sums me up in way. It hasn’t been easy walking the path that I was blessed with at an early age, a kid who had major learning problems at a time when it was a taboo to talk about it. I literary got mad one day many moons ago, mad wouldn’t be the right tone more like angry when I got told by Japanese Educators that if I went to school in Japan that I would be institutionalize for learning different. I stood my ground, like I have always done & said that I wanted to use my strengths from overcoming great obstacles to help others. Hello, there’s great truth to the art of service. Be of service, live your life from that way & great things will happen. I’ve had educators not get me for a lot of reasons, they are fearful on what I can show them. On the other had I had Educators love me for being a strong as I am to conquer what ever is in my way with the self determination drive that I have.  I like to say that my “fighting Irish” comes out to shine with this; I learned a lot from my grandparents you could say.  I guess that I am now ready to go more in depth about sharing about my past, to open up greatness in the art of self love. None of this has been easy to write. I’m just getting guided to do this over a cuppa of green tea this morning. Tears of release are being shine for creating the space with self love.

I’m blessed to received my copy of the “The Gift of Dyslexia” by Ronald D. Davis from Amazon. I’ve started to read this & a huge “AH” moment is going off. The “AH” as in the one that Oprah says with excitement, I mean that the missing pieces of my learning struggles are starting to make sense in a new light. I will admit that when I do work with kids in the resources room who learn different I can really reach out to them & it takes me back to the seeing what I went threw with new light.  For me, it was not easy being that kid who had to leave the room for speech, did poorly on test, got bully for being smart in social studies (my favorite subject besides art)  & other things, kids teasing me cos my dad’s side of the family is Polish, to name a few of the things that I went threw. I recall being in high school, which I refer to as the “Dark Ages” for me cos I was in a suicidal depression mode learning how to fit in; it really is just a blur for me. I just didn’t felt like I fit into the tribe you could say, friends would come & go, learning how to deal with adolescence, how to be me within my own family, etc…I would sit at the dinner table not talking to my own family about my day cos I didn’t want to upset them on how others wouldn’t talk to me nor did I ever felt like I belonged at school. So much fear & anxiety took a hold of me, crippling me from inside. Withdrawing from the world was my coping skill.

What I do know now on this path that I’m peacefully walking is that it’s ok for me to be who I am. It really is. Beauty is unfolding like a seedling blossoming into a beautiful flower or a caterpillar into a butterfly. There’s a much deeper gift into the dyslexia that I am aware of or just learning to rediscover from a greater level right now. So what if I vibrate at a much higher frequency than most. I mean that I’m up there with the Wright Brothers as I found out in a healing session with my ideas. I can make some beautiful & compelling photographs from trusting myself. I have a unique lens of perspective on the world that most would love to have. I know that humanitarian rights are far more important rather than greed for your love.  Buying items that support Mother Earth has a greater impact rather than cheap items. Going “GREEN” is wonderful & can make difference with your carbon footprint. Changing your diet to go gluten free has a lot of health benefits for the body, mind & soul. Healing from the inside out is wonderful. Lifestyle changes really do pay off in many ways.

Here’s a secret to some of my success, that art has a great deal to do this. For me the learning difficulties & dyslexia is gifted to me in the way of what I can do with the arts. I have such a great gift with it that I want to use it to shine light onto others. For me it’s me being an artist who loves the world, travels off of the beaten path to show others how beautiful it really is. All what I do know that with my great love for photography, teaching, cooking, yoga, working with kids & traveling is that I’m working on walking the path to tie all of it together into something that I can be happy with on my own terms. I guess you can say that I’m nontraditional with my approach. I learned how to write the alphabet with writing letters out in flour as one example or that certain teachers would have to draw pictures for me to learn. I am extremely visual. Funny, I can’t remember the name of an item in the store, like a bottle of red wine for example, I just need to see the label & that triggers the memory. Oh, no, I’m not one of those American’s who buy wine just cos the label is cool. I’m really am not like most Americans & people are like, wow she’s cool when I’m off traveling, she gets a lot of things. I guess it has to do with my “owl/eagle” energy from my spirit animals. I usually can tell what Beatles song is playing by the chords before the lyrics start.

The Expressive Art Workshops   100 Art Theraphy Exercises is a great resource to look at the list of art therapy exercises & know that it’s ok to start doing them. I had some of the greatest art teachers as a kid, Sisters Gerald & Vincent were the perfect ones for me to show me that I could create when I spent many summers at  KBIA. They saw something in me that still remains deep in my heart. Art has always been my way of dealing with a lot of things & it still does. I need to go out & play, have creative downtime to create like I do. It’s perfectly normal. Going off seeking the world. It’s about trusting a greater wisdom that is available to you at all times. The secret to it is to still the mind to access it. Meditate & sit in silence for it to come, not be pushing & forcing it until it explodes right in your face. It’s ok to walk your own path & not to follow the herd. I love the line in the Sex & the City episode when Sam Jones is breaking up with Smith Jerrod when she says that she loves me more. There really is some great beauty with loving the self. Falling in love with you is a beautiful thing! Let love shine!