Recurring Thoughts

For months now, I have been having a John Lennon quote come to me during moments of stillness. My higher self keep on telling me a message if I would just listen to it. This is a quote that has been on my mind for quite a bit of time. I actually put the quote to a photo I took of a sunrise out in Drakensberg, South Africa when I went on a photographic workshop for the weekend moons ago. 

The quote goes as John Lennon famously said, “When you do something beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun, every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps.” 

As I dive more into myself doing the work that I’ve been doing. Some won’t even go as far as I am going. We all have our own inner war against the spirits, our inner battles of discovering who we truly are. Some will get it, some won’t, but what matters the most is that you are listing to the voice inside of you calling you to do what’s right for your higher self. 

I will admit that with my emphatic heart, I sometimes overreact and go into a tissy fit throwing big tantrums that my voice is not heard. The stories I tell myself are: “I wonder if so and so has happily forgotten about me, does my showing up and doing what I do to earn money matter to people, is my voice being heard, can people actually love me for myself and can I actually love myself for me, why haven’t I heard from this friend of mine, yada yada yada”. I realize that some of these things come from the fact that I really do love certain people and wish that they would do the same for as I would do for them. Then it also comes back to the principle that I need to allow myself permission to let people be who they are and stop being so controlling. Lately, this has been coming up to teach me an important lesson. 

I am reminded how a friend of mine called me out of my own **it one day and told me straight up that I needed to focus more on the greatness rather than the lack.  Also, I can’t talk bad about myself if what I’m learning these days because it’s effecting the growth, that’s one of the biggest things that I had to admit to myself and I’m glad that another friend of mine told me to admit to the truth to myself months ago because those words stuck with me. A lot that this particular friend told me one day really sat with me because it was coming from a place of love. Some days my inner self just replays the memory to remind me of the beauty. It’s those little things make the most sense…

“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.” ~Paulo Coelho

It all comes down to silence the muse inside the head. Non attachment is the key and the way with allowing the love light in. It comes down to practicing the art of surrender and forgiveness for myself first and foremost at a greater level. These little things that have been the trigger over time are actually the lessons that I must master. 

“I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting. 
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dance.”
~TS Eliot, Four Quartets 

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