Around Thanksgiving, I was pondering and reflecting how much I have actually have grown this year. I even mention this to a couple of friends who I bumped into while I was waiting for a table at Empire the other night for dinner. I actually have the courage to sit down with the New Moon energies and of course it's Mercury Retrograde as I find myself typing away about my last year. For some, they might not have a clue on what I'm talking about and that's "a okay".
I started the year off in a very dark place. Like I was brainwash by Supreme Leader Snoke trying to join the Empire. I remember how much distress that I was this time last year and everything that I did was a reflection of that. You could say that I drank way too many bottles of red to deal with the pain, as I often find myself doing, but as it turns out it wasn't really worth the self loathing behavior. I was extremely burnt out from saying yes to too much and was on the go go go, like the New York go go. I recall, my mother telling me on the phone to stop and take care of myself. I basically had to learn to take care of myself all over again on a deeper level. When you are dealing with fatigue, it's not fun, but a wake up call to hone into your true self. Basically, it comes down to pick which things are important to you and not to give away your f**ks to others.
Like many, I find myself not knowing myself these days with the incredible energy that is coming into our planet from above and below the Earth. I do know that these energy frequencies are stirring a lot of things up, just look at the news. It's sad to say that we are living in a time where there is Climate Change and we are not doing as much as we could do to help the situation. Just look at the recent hurricanes and forest fires for our wake up call to do something about it. I've notice extreme patterns of cold in the North East and the next moment it will be bright sunny and warm. I don't know how to dress these days, except for wearing layers. Some days, I have a couple of down jackets on to keep me warm and sleep with a handful of blankets. We are in a time of great changes and we must first take care of ourselves in order to be the beacon of light for others. We must not turn down our own light to make others happy. We must take responsibility for our own actions and know that true happiness must come from within.
I didn't think that I would have done the things that I have done this year if you asked me at the first of the year. I made the decision to work on my photography business and that has lead me to working with the Hospice of Southern Maine, who knew that I would get a chance to photograph a famous person, SSG Travis Mills! I didn't even think that I would have a chance to see Elton John preform when we came to Portland, but I did. I made the healthy choice to take up yoga once again, its definitely a love affair with myself to make time to get to a class and to practice the asanas. I made some new friends too who have similar interest as myself and it's been a blessing. I had the courage to attend my first Enlightenment Expo and to do a couple of radio programs talking about my travels and my work. Not forget that I scored a ticket to see Star Wars-The Last Jedi at the IMAX 3D theater on opening night.
As the year is coming to a close and a new one just to become. I'm just taking it moment by moment.
I still have the quote by Anton Chekhov in the back of my head saying, "If you want to work on your art, work on your life." And that continues to be my motto for the year ahead...